Sleep deprived with hairy legs!

Ok. So having been a dancer and now a dance Lecturer I have for the best part of 25 years had professional waxing beauty treatments.

I’ve worked my way through many a salon depending on where I’ve been living at any one particular time, London, Eastbourne, Brighton, Devon. Beauty therapists have come and gone in the time I have spent at some salons, whilst at others I have only been a fleeting client.

On my return to the South West, knowing that this was a move for the long-term I wanted to find somewhere easy to get to, parking close by, relaxing salon and quality staff.

Thankfully, in the time I had been away the demand for hair removal within Devon had significantly increased! I found a wonderful salon in my local town and this remained my salon for the next 7 years.

During my first pregnancy they helped (heaved!) me up onto the couch right up to the week before the Twins were born. I felt it was important to me to continue with these treatments throughout the pregnancy; the one aspect of my body I could still be in charge of (even if I could no longer see my legs thanks to the beach ball belly I was sporting!)

I continued to use this salon until it closed and then I was stuck!  However, I struck gold finding a magnificent mobile beautician. What a luxury!!  She would come to my house!! No need for parking, parking money, babysitters etc etc.

Then she changed career! Ahhhhhhh! I’d become so dependent on her that the thought of finding someone new was torture! Many salons and beauticians were sought out and tried but they just did not match up to her exceptional standards and,they weren’t my friends. This was a strange hurdle for me to overcome.

Honestly though, some of the waxings I experienced! Turning up at one salon to be told that I would be seen by a girl who was there on an interview (well that just filled me with confidence!)  or the beautician who was maniacally OCD in her work and provided me with a mirror – as though I was at the hairdressers and checking the back view of my head, you get my drift-which as she held she said “Is that OK for you?!” Yikes! That is an angle I really wasn’t expecting to check out! Thank God I always remained in my undies for treatments! What was she expecting me to say? “Gosh, yes I love what you’ve done!?” as I twisted from hip to hip to get the full perspective??!! My British-ness kicked in “Oh, yes. Thank you!” was all I could muster! I never revisited either of these!

We then moved house to a very rural location in Devon. I visited the village beautician but having to then chat in the playground with someone who had seen angles of you that even you hadn’t seen – oh wait, no I had…shudder!- and maintaining eye contact was tricky!

Another lady was found and she has been brilliant. A former dancer herself so she knows her onions (where did that phrase originate?!) and her waxing, and no mirrors insight!

Now though, a new Mum once again, I’m thinking this is something I should deal with myself. Man Up. Seize the day. Just get on with it.

Fancy Veet pot of melty wax stuff bought.

Fabric strips bought.

But..is dealing with liquid molten wax in delicate areas, whilst balancing sleep deprived eyelids open with matchsticks, and grabbing that window of opportunity whilst Bubs has 40 winks, a good idea?! Plus I may need a swig of vino – Dutch Courage and painkiller all in one! What if the baby wakes when I’ve just applied said melty stuff and am potentially bordering on squiffy? Should I:

a) carry on regardless (ooh I’d forgotten about that song!) – as if I could.

b) remove hot melty stuff and run to Bubs by which time quite predictably nodding off again has occurred

c) stand in a panic in a John Wayne type stance thinking through all my options by which time hot melty stuff is no longer hot or melty. But solidified. And cold. A whole new set of problems to be dealt with – not to mention that the wine is no longer chilled.

d) end up forgetting what I was meant to be doing after the first few sips of wine go straight to my head (I know – lightweight! but it has been nearly a year since I’ve enjoyed alcohol!)- no waxing occurs but I feel rough the next day.

Plus, the beauty of having someone else do it for you is not knowing that exact moment when they are about to pull/rip/remove/tear out/defuzz you.

This is not an option when you and you alone are operating the fabric strip! Mentally preparing to rip a plaster off is no match for this. Plus, you have to maintain your tension of pull for the full fabric strip; you can’t get half way and have a breather!!

And so, I am in a quandary. Go it alone or go to my ‘onion lady’ (funny because onions bring tears to you eyes too!) Plus, can I be arsed to get out of the house,  drive to town, park up, blah blah blah blah, blah??

Who am I kidding! Quandary over! The answer is quite clearly Yes! God, I’m such a lazy arse!! I shall return to Onion Lady. However, I have a friend who before her cleaner arrives has a quick tidy up, dust and vacume so that the cleaner doesn’t think the house is a state. I may have to adopt this attitude before returning to Onion Lady….you know what I mean?!

 

The Aloha Mummy 🌸