Can’t Contour, Will Wing!

I think I am growing up!?! I have reached that stage in my life where I am looking at labels on products that say, firming, age defence, (not too fussed about the wrinkle side of ageing but don’t want my skin to sag or look drab – still hankering after my youthful glow!) and wondering if that will be the product for me. I’m going to try to be true to one brand for a significant time to see if there are any benefits to be found.


I’m at an age now, where make up is my friend! Since the age of 15 I have always worn my black eyeliner; I remember the day I first put it on! I felt awesome! Like Curt Cobain would defo pick me for a backing singer! My eyeliner is my absolute ‘go-to’ make up item, without it I think I look ill! You know the look, flu for a week, baggy eyes, and pasty skin – but as soon as I put my eyeliner on I feel awake and presentable! Now I have ‘grown up’ and I moisturise regularly, I can actually see a vast improvement when I put on my (actually very little) beauty products.


I’ve seen many a You Tube Make Up tutorial about Mums and their morning make up routine and to be honest it may seem simple and minimal to them but to me there is just not enough time for all that nonsense! One I saw was a quick make up application – the word quick was in the title. Now for her it may be quick and she did look utterly fab at the end of it, but to me that was about as much make up as I would wear for a performance on stage! Moisturiser, primer, concealer, foundation, powder, bronzer, dust the blusher, eyelid primer, eye shadow, eyebrow pencil, mascara, eyeliner, winged….(I’ll come to this beauty in a mo!), lip primer, lipstick, then all finished off with some little face spray thingy to make everything stick in place! There was even a bit of contouring in there too!


Right, so this is my daily make up routine:-

  • Moisturise
  • Powder (sticks to moisturiser – that’s my primer right there folks #lifehack!)
  • Bronzer (if I remember!)
  • Mascara
  • Eyeliner– always! If there is only time for one item of makeup then this is it!
  • Blush (if I remember!)
  • Bedtime – One make up remover wipe to clear off what little has managed to hang on in there after Bubs has vomited, sneezed, licked, wiped, snorted, huffed, rolled on and snuggled into, and the bottle steriliser has billowed its steam into my face! (Home Spa and bottle steriliser in one!


I feel that maybe at this stage of my life I need to master this? But, hang on minot grigio! Do I really WANT to learn to do this, or am I being made to feel as though I SHOULD learn to do this; that it will in some bizarre way enhance my life and increase my self esteem; that if I don’t then I will stick out like a sore thumb whilst waiting in the queue at Sainsburys? Well if there is anything more likely to reduce my self esteem it is me trying and epically failing to, in anyway shape or form, master contouring. I ended up looking like one of those women on a Nip & Tuck programme all marked up with thick marker pen lines. I stood back from the mirror. What a laugh! What a joke!

Conclusion – I cannot contour and I’m ok with it! I really do not want to look like a wannabe Kardashian.


Last week whilst mooching about Youtube I stumbled across a new technique craze in make-up application!…


If you are anything like me this word immediately conjured up images of the annual pantomime and the scene where there is a car chase, policeman brandishing a truncheon and the loveable underdog character Buttons or suchlike, running about the stage with the strobe lighting making it all feel a bit surreal, whacky and robotic stop-starty! Turns out that in actual fact this Strobing technique is what we used to call highlighting.  Not so scary after all and something that I can handle without too much hilarity (or irritation!)


Winged Eyeliner

Right. The nemesis of my make up application. I am determined to crack this bad boy! Up until now I have tried every eyeliner and technique out there, felt tip ended, chisel ended, fat, thin, cat eye, liquid, gel, dot method, credit card method…blah de blah de BLAH!


I love my eyeliner and I love Audrey Hepburn and I would love for my eyeliner to mirror her iconic look. I am driven, I am motivated, and I am full of perseverance!  I have now found a magnificent eyeliner to achieve this exact look… It still takes me a few go’s but I get there!





I have recently decided that my skin would benefit from some regular skincare routine and have invested in a Serum from No7. This is lush! I shall also be branching out into the rest of the range of moisturiser for day and night. The main reason I plumped for this product?…the TV advert with the ballerina; a dancer in the present dancing with a projection of her much younger self. I’m sold!!! Just add pointe shoes to any advertising campaign and I’m there!! It’s the most I have ever paid for a moisturiser but I am at an age where I think that I am allowed to indulge myself in this way!



I have an epic Girl’s Night Out coming up in August – Bean has landed an a-ma-zing new job and it will mean that she will have to relocate. I am keen to display my new found/old fashioned strobing/highlighting technique, winged eyeliner look and serumed-up dewy faced look on this night


….although I’m not sure why because after Bean has insisted that we do tequilas…

  1. a) it will be smudged into sexy (HA! Yeah right!) panda look
  2. b) I will be so squiffy that I won’t be able to see it let alone attempt a re-application!
  3. c) Bean, Charlie’s Mum, Sparkle Mum and Peace Mama will also be so sozzled that they won’t be able to focus on it and appreciate the effort I have gone to – there’s a chance that Bean will be sloshed before we even go out! (Love. Her!)
  4. d) my pores will be cleansed with alcohol but it will still take a pack of cleansing wipes to remove that amount of product at the end of the night!
  5. e) we will be in a dimly lit (atmospherically lit) cocktail bar so really who’s to know?!

So in conclusion, I may venture down the foundation route, I will wear my Smokey eye look and I shall Wing away!

But I’d like to make it clear that this is only for very special occasions! I am more than happy to maintain my ‘stick powder on top of moisturiser look’, and eyeliner routine! It’s working just fine for me….and I got ID’d for my lottery ticket the other week too so I can’t be ageing too badly!!!


So, like me with my one item of ‘Can’t live without’ makeup…..what’s yours?! Remember, only one item!


Or, maybe we don’t need any at all?

The Aloha Mummy 🌸



Diary of an imperfect mum